Queen Girls
by DontForgetWhereYouGotMe
Summary: Or Queen Bees and Evil Queens, Mean Queens - whatever you want to call it, this is it. Regina has cast the curse and the fairytale characters now live in another land: the land of high school. And the arrival of new student Emma is about to shake things up a bit;) Crack/AU, Swan Queen, M for language and potential sexy times
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This fanfiction idea came from many different places, such as The Most Popular Girls In School, Mean Girls, The Breakfast Club, and other high school movies, and is the result of the chemical reaction that happens when such movies/shows are mixed together (along with, of course, Once Upon A Time) in the crack den that is my brain.**

**I must give credit to Adventures With Cora Mills for inspiring me to write a crack fic of my own. Seriously for those of you who haven't read it, it's like the mother of all OUAT crack.**

**Hope you enjoy and are thoroughly entertained by this fic and by our beloved characters' alter high school egos!**

**Also, a note - I'm tired of referring to so many characters in this fandom as brunettes when writing, so I have coined the term "ravenette" - meaning a person with black hair - and will henceforth use it to describe Regina.**

* * *

Emma entered the doors of the school and walked down the hallway, a little nervous about her first day here. She wasn't sure how Storybrooke High School was gonna be, but she'd heard weird things about it. This town was kind of in the middle of nowhere and well, perfect for a girl trying to run away from the foster care system and start a new life. But there were also rumors that the kids in this town were witches or fairytale creatures or something ridiculous like that - Emma thought she shouldn't worry about that too much.

She had this thought just as a fireball - fireball? - flew her way and she ducked down just in time.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" She yelled and got up and brushed herself off.

"That's to the new girl, so you know your place," Emma heard a girl's voice and stood up to face a pale, black-haired girl, all dressed in a lacy black tank, miniskirt and high heeled boots (she was still shorter than Emma in her converse though.)

"Nice to meet you too," Emma shot back. "What the fuck kind of voodoo was that, anyway, that fireball?"

The girl's eyes widened. "MOTHE - I mean - CORA!" She yelled, and a petite, agile brunette sped up to the girl's side. Cora wore red lipstick a red tank top, skinny jeans and black heeled ankle boots. "She doesn't know." The ravenette whispered incredulously.

Cora turned to her, eyes wide. "Where did she come from?" She whispered back to the other girl, and aloud, to Emma, "Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Emma. I'm new," Emma replied. Then she turned to the girl who had thrown the fireball at her. "Who the fuck are you?"

Cora gasped. "SHE'S Regina Mills, Head Cheerleader, Homecoming Queen, part-time model," Cora answered.

"Moth- Cora, that's a lie, I'm not a part-time model," Regina whispered.

"She doesn't need to know that," Cora whispered back.

"Okeeee," Emma drawled, "well I see you two have a lot to talk about, so I'll leave you both and yeah, good day, I guess?" Emma babbled as she started walking past them.

"Not so fast," Regina put a hand on Emma's shoulder and began to say something else, but as soon as they touched, she completely forgot what she was saying and just stared up at Emma, who was looking at her, gaze harsh and unwavering. "I - um - I -"

"Yes?" Emma asked, getting bored.

"You- you have some dust on your shirt," Regina hastily brushed off the sleeve of Emma's flannel shirt.

"Ookayy then," Emma said, giving Regina a weird look. "Nice meeting you." She continued down the hallway, thinking to herself how weird everyone in this school was.

* * *

"Oh my God," Emma whispered to herself. Standing right there, against one of the lockers, was Neal, her ex-boyfriend.

"Emma, hey!"

"Neal, heyyy," she said rather unenthusiastically.

"So, how are you? How do you like the school?"

"Eh, it's, em - interesting." She couldn't find a better word to describe the encounter that had just happened to her in the hall.

"And em... new boyfriend?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Well seeing as realized I'm gay, not so much," Emma answered matter-of-factly.

"Oh..." A slight blush crept up to Neal's cheeks. "I mean, that's cool, I just, I didn't-"

"Neal let's not do this, kay? I can tell it's weird for you."

That was the end of their conversation, but both of them still stood there.

"Um... yeah?" Neal asked, confused as to why she was still there.

"You're in front of my locker," Emma answered, at which point Neal moved sheepishly out of the way and walked down the hall, Emma rolling her eyes as she tried out her locker combination.

As she slammed her locker door, the face of an all-white clad girl with a pixie cut came into view.

"Hi, I'm Mary Margaret," the girl chirped in an excruciatingly, painfully cheerful voice.

"Really? You look more like Snow to me," Emma quipped.

The girl looked down at her outfit and laughed lightly - dear god, even her _laugh_ sounded optimistic. "Oh you mean my outfit? Yeah most of my clothes are white, it's just my favorite color."

Emma looked at her from the corner of her eye. "Riiight. Yeah I'm gonna call you Snow." She said as she turned on her heel and went to class.

"PERFECT!" The girl called after her. _God_, that chick was annoying.

* * *

_CRASH! _A loud clatter sounded through the hallway as Cora tripped and fell against some lockers.

"Mother! _SHHH!_" Regina whisper-yelled. "We're meant to be in class, and if Principal Gold catches us, we're dead!"

"Then why are we doing this in the first place?" Cora retorted. "Besides, I wouldn't mind sinking my teeth into Principal Gold - yum."

Regina blanched. "You're disgusting, mother."

"Say what you will, but I slept with him back in our land, and he is an _animal_ in the sack." Cora shrugged.

"Ugh! Mother! Too much information!" Regina tried to block that image from her mind. "Now come on!" She led Cora down the hallway until they stopped at one particular locker.

"You're sure this is the one?" Cora asked.

"Definitely, I bullied the number and combination out of wittle Mary Margaret Blanchard - or should I say, Mary Margaret _Blanch." _Regina quipped. "She's disgustingly sweet," she muttered, before setting to work on the locker in front of her.

"So, why are we going through the new girl's locker again?" Cora asked as Regina fumbled with the lock.

"To learn things about her, obviously," Regina replied.

"Iiii don't think so," Cora smirked. "At least, I don't think it's just cuz she's the new girl. Iiii think that somebody has a little crush on somebody." Cora wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

A deep blush crept up Regina's cheeks, and she swallowed before replying unevenly, "I have no idea what you're talking about mother."

"Riiight. Uh-huh. Sure," Cora rolled her eyes. "Now hurry up with that!"

"I'm hurrying!"

Once the locker was open, they began sniffing around.

"What's this?" Regina held up what looked like a bon-bon, wrapped in yellow and blue paper.

"I don't know," Cora answered. "Open it," she urged, and Regina did. There was a little pink cylinder inside. "Taste it!" Cora shrieked, impatient.

"SHHH!" Regina reminded. "And no - I don't know what the hell it is. You try it."

"Aww, is Wegina afwaid of a wittle piece of candyy?" Cora replied.

Regina just looked at her. "You are a child, mother." Then she popped the little pink morsel in her mouth and began chewing.

It was sugary and sweet, and - she loved it!

"It's so good! and So chewy! and - wait," Regina had a revelation, and after hastily maneuvering her mouth, she blew a bubble. "It's bubble-gum!" Regina exclaimed. "I can't believe I've never had this stuff before. It's now my new signature thing." Regina decided. "Definitely fit for a high school queen."

The two jumped as the bell rang.

"Quick, close the locker," Cora urged, and Regina complied, but not before stealing a few more pieces of gum.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay guys sorry I took so long with the update but I will try to be dedicated and post updates more often I swear.**

**This chapter's not quite as funny as the last but I did my best to add a few quips, plus it's made up for by the hardcore shipping you guys will be doing of Swan Queen, Black Gold and/or Rumpled Lace.**

**Also I hope you enjoy the characters of Lacey and Ruby, I thought it would be pretty fun if they were friends, seeing as how they're both so ... well you know;D**

**I do not own anything from Mean Girls or Once Upon a Time.**

**Enjoy & reviews are welcome!**

* * *

Emma got to her locker after Algebra only to find all her gum gone.

"What the fuck?" Emma muttered to herself, rifling through her backpack to no avail.

Then she saw Regina fucking Mills walk by, and guess what - chewing a piece of bubblegum.

"HEY!" Emma called out. Regina looked in her direction but kept walking. Emma growled in frustration and ran to where Regina was, blocking her way.

"I'm trying to get to art class, if you don't mind," Regina said, blowing a bubble.

"YOU TOOK MY BUBBLEGUM!" Emma accused as she noticed about ten more pieces in Regina's purse. "And i want it back," she threatened, making a snatch at the purse. Regina pulled it close to her side, a sneer gracing her face.

"Youuu don't GET to have your gum back," she snarled. "Come on Cora."

"Wait!" Emma stopped Regina dead in her tracks, standing in front of her so there was no way Regina could get around. "I want it back," Emma whispered. She inched closer to Regina, so their noses were barely touching. "Now."

Regina kind of blanked out as the only thing she was preoccupied with was the blonde's close proximity to her. Suddenly she had an idea.

"Oh you can have it back," Regina smirked. "If you take it for yourself." She grinned and showed the gum between her teeth.

Emma's eyes widened at what the girl seemed to be implying. "Are you kidding?"

"Nope, if you want it back, come and get it," Regina smirked. Emma growled in anger and closed the distance between them. She tried to focus on the gum and not at how hot and sweet the brunette's lips were. She had to fish around for the gum in Regina's mouth with her tongue, Regina's battling with hers - but they weren't making out were they? If they weren't then why was Emma growing hot?

Regina fought back the urge to gasp as Emma's tongue entered her mouth. She didn't think the girl had it in her but apparently this blonde was full of surprises. Emma's tongue found the gum in Regina's mouth and transferred it to hers, but oddly enough, their lips remained locked after that. They weren't making out were they? Except Regina was fighting to keep her breathing Regular and her lips felt like they were on fire.

They weren't breaking away from each other just yet.

Emma backed Regina up against a locker with full force and descended once again on her lips. Just as Regina began to moan, Emma pulled back, a teasing smile on her face.

"Well I got what I came for," Emma said, but she wasn't sure if she meant the gum. She walked away, snickering to herself.

Regina just slumped against the locker, watching Emma leave.

"That was a lovely display of affection to have IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER," Cora noted, but Regina's mind wasn't on the conversation.

"Oh shut up mother. Come talk to me when your heart gets shoved back into your body."

Cora grinned darkly at this, but did as she was told.

* * *

Emma sat in History class, trying to work alone but she couldn't help hearing Mary Margaret Blanchard behind her, gossiping with some chick who was apparently named Ruby and another named Lacey.

It was interesting that sweet, innocent little Mary Margaret seemed to be so close to the two school sluts but hey, maybe she was the voice of reason in the group.

Anyway, they were gossiping about none other than Regina Mills and her sidekick, that Cora chick.

"Regina is such a bitch," Ruby seethed. "She told me my fishnets looked 'like I'd bought them off a hooker on a pirate ship.'" Emma couldn't help but giggle at this.

"Something funny?" Ruby challenged. Emma turned around.

"Oh, nothing." Emma played it off. But she was interested in gathering more information about ... _Regina. _"I agree though, Regina deserves to be pounded against a locker," Emma smiled at her own secret innuendo.

"Yeah, but no one's gonna try and beat her up," Lacey chimed in. "She's the most popular girl in school."

"Exactly," Ruby agreed. "One time, she wore army pants and flip flops so I went out and bought army pants and flip flops."

Mary Margaret nodded her head in agreement. "One time, she punched me in the face. It. Was. Awesome." The girl said in all seriousness. This caused Emma to burst out laughing.

"Oooooh my god, you guys are intimidated by her? I mean come onnn hahaha," Emma couldn't stop cracking up. They looked at her. "I mean figured Regina was popular, but the girl's five feet tall and the way she raises a single eyebrow when she's mad is super cute, not _threatening_," Emma chuckled.

"Ooo super cute, huh?" Ruby wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Does somebody have a crush on somebody?"

Emma blushed at having let that slip. She mumbled something incoherent and Ruby grinned even wider.

"Okay can we please focus on Cora Mills now?"

"Mills?" Emma asked confused.

"Yeah she and Regina are cousins are something," Mary Margaret said.

"ANYWAY," Lacey demanded the group's attention. "I'm fucking pissed at Cora because I heard she had her eye on Principal Gold and he's MINE."

"Umm you want to fuck a teacher?" Emma quirked an eyebrow.

"School slut, remember?" Lacey pointed at herself. "Besides, he's the principal, not a teacher," she said, her eyes taking on a suggestive glow. "And I. Want. Him."

"But you can't mess with Cora, Lacey," Ruby interjected. "I hear her father invented toaster strudel."

"SO, WHAT THE FUCK DOES TOASTER STRUDEL HAVE TO DO WITH HER BANGING A FUCKING TEACHER," Lacey burst out.

"Okay just calllm down Lacey," Mary Margaret said. "I'm sure there's another guy you like in addition to Principal Gold if I'm not mistaken."

"Well, now that you mention it, I saw Seth Mosakowski the other day-"

"Wait," Ruby said. "He's your cousin."

"Yeah, but he's my _first_ cousin," Lacey said.

"Right."

"So you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then -"

"Honey no."

"That's not right is it?"

"That is soo not right," Ruby said, making Emma giggle.

"Okay then nevermind what I said," Lacey got the determined look in her eyes again. "I will have Principal Gold."

* * *

Cora waited anxiously outside the principal's office.

She had gotten in trouble for throwing apples at Mary Margaret Blanchard during lunch. But it had been totally worth it, especially since now she got to see _him._

__You see it wasn't being in trouble Cora was anxious about. She was anxious to get in that office and put the moves on Principal Gold.

The office door opened and Cora perked up, smiling when she saw him. He ushered her inside.

"So Cora," Principal Gold started in that silky voice of his, "You threw apples at Mary Margaret Blanchard during lunch."

"That is correct," Cora stated.

"You realize this is serious because you both wasted food and bullied an innocent student. I'm sure it wasn't your goal to get in trouble." Gold said sternly.

"Actually, it was," Cora smiled.

Gold raised an eyebrow. "And why might that be?"

"Ohh no reason," Cora looked at him dreamily. "So what's my death sentence?"

"Your _punishment _- not sentence - will be to serve detention with me tomorrow afternoon."

Cora sat up straighter in her chair. "With - with you?" Her eyes were wide. Gold nodded. "Don't teachers usually supervise detention?"

"Yes, but I find it would be best if you had detention alone away from the other students seeing as Miss Regina Mills will be in detention tomorrow as well and you two tend to be blabbermouths when together."

Cora nodded thoughtfully.

"You're not upset by this?" Gold asked apprehensively.

Cora stood up and smiled, leaning over Gold's desk so her cleavage was eye level with him.

"Oh no." She said. "In fact, I think tomorrow's detention could be just what I need." She whispered.

Gold's eyes darkened as he took in Cora's ripe form before him. He normally didn't take such a liking to his students but Cora wasn't afraid of him, of how powerful he was, and that made him want to _make _her acknowledge his power. He would have taken her right then and there but there were cameras in the room and he didn't fancy being sued by the inventor of toaster strudel.

Instead he stood up and leaned over his desk at her. "Good," he whispered, their lips nearly touching. "Then don't be late."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Okay, this chapter is basically a set up for the next chapter, which I can almost guarantee will probably be the funniest chapter yet. I won't spoil it for you with the details. You may see where I'm going with this if you're smart;)**

**Enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

Emma walked up to her locker to find Mary Margaret chatting away with some blonde kid who had a dumbfounded expression on his face. She wondered if he was confused about something. But then he smiled and laughed and his face didn't change so she guessed he was just naturally stupid.

Charming.

"Um hey, hate to interrupt this little flirt-fest but I need to get to my locker," Emma said. Snow and the kid looked at her as though she had three heads.

"Oh, right, sorry Emma!" Snow chirped cheerily. "Bye David," she said to the boy. For a second Emma thought they were going to kiss, or hug, but ... they just kind of hugged-ish each other awkwardly from the side.

Emma burst out laughing. "What was that!?" The two looked at her again like she was crazy.

"Um it's a Christian side hug duh," the boy said.

"Ch-christian side hug?" Emma said between giggles.

"Well Emma, it's sexually inappropriate to hug people in school," Mary Margaret explained as though this was something every kid knew and believed.

"Riiight. Well, I don't really _need _to put my history book in my locker, so yeah, I'll just leave you to your - public displays of affection. By Snow. Bye..." What should this idiot's nickname be? "Charming." Emma turned on her heel to walk off - and ran straight into Bitchgina Mills.

"Hey, watch it!" Regina yelled, and Emma laughed, genuinely amused.

"_Me_ watch it? You ran straight into me and landed face-first on my boobs. If I didn't know better I'd say someone wants some action," Emma smirked.

Regina's cheeks turned red. Emma could see she was bristling. She raised a hand - probably to shoot a fireball - but Emma caught her by the wrist. They locked eyes, Regina becoming more infuriated by the second.

"Your hotheadedness is adorable," Emma said lowly. "How about this," she said more loudly as she dropped Regina's wrist. "Instead of you obliterating me with your weird freakish superpowers, you skip class with me and we actually talk like civilized human beings."

She could tell Regina was mulling it over, but honestly had no idea what the brunette would say. Suddenly she looked up. "Done."

* * *

Cora sat down in the lone desk after school, when finally Principal Gold entered the room. "Well hello," she put on her sexy voice.

His eyes bore into hers. "Hello, deary." She could see his eyes raking over her body, and for this occasion she had worn her black plaid skirt and red, tight fitting cami. A touch of red lipstick graced her face and her hair fell in curls.

They stood there, stared at each other for a good couple minutes, seemingly contemplating whether to pretend this was an actual detention. Then Cora decided _fuck it _and pounced, capturing principal Gold's lips with her own. To her glee he responded, wrapping his arms around her waist and invading her mouth with his tongue. He turned them so she was against the wall, and she let out a light moan. Things began to get heated, and -

the door burst open and the two jumped apart as fast as lightning.

Lacey was standing there, wide-eyed. "YOU conniving BITCH!" Lacey blew her top. "He was supposed to be MINE." Lacey walked straight up to Cora and slapped her hard across the face. Cora's eyes narrowed in fury.

"You. Do not. Fuck. With. Cora. Mills." And she pounced, tackling Lacey to the ground. The two began cat fighting - scratching, hair-pulling and all. Gold knew he should probably intervene at some time but to be honest he was enjoying being fought over, especially by two of the school's prettiest and most popular girls. However, when Cora yelled, "EAT THAT, you alcoholic SLUT," he decided it was time to put an end to it.

"Dearies," he said, his voice commanding. Both stopped and looked up at him. I hate to break up this little cat fight but unfortunately, fighting on school grounds is punishable by detention. You'll both have to serve it tomorrow after school." Cora perked up a little at this, but then he added, "_with _the rest of the detention students." And her face fell again. However, he pulled them both to their feet, and when he had hold of Cora's arm, he pulled her closer, bit her earlobe and whispered, "we'll finish this some other time." She could feel wetness between her legs at that.

Cora and Lacey both strutted angrily from the room and down the hallway, neither speaking. This was war.

* * *

**_Earlier That Day_**

Regina and Emma walked side by side on the school grass. They stopped by the back building, which had burned down in 1982, and sat down on a patch of grass. "So answer me this," Regina demanded, blowing a bubble with her gum, then popping it and continuing. "You're new. Where did you move from?"

"Ahh that's complicated." Regina looked at her, confused. Emma continued. "I've been in foster homes my whole life. My parents actually left me on the side of the road as a baby. And I can't tell you the last place I moved from."

"Why not?" Regina was genuinely curious. Emma looked at her very seriously.

"I can't tell you that either. I wish I could but I could be in so much trouble if I did."

"But-"

"No." Regina looked into Emma's eyes and could tell that she meant it, so she decided to back off. For now.

"Anyway," Emma sighed. "Explain to me how you can shoot fireballs out of your hands."

Regina faltered. When she'd placed the curse, she'd decided to keep her powers and no one in town had questioned her random spurts of magic because everyone was, well, cursed.

"Um, no one's ever asked me that before," Regina mumbled.

Emma smirked. "I see I'm not the only one with a secret. Trade?"

Regina looked up questioningly. "Trade?"

"You know, like, I tell you where I came from and you tell me why you seem better suited for Hogwarts than here."

"Hogwarts?" Regina asked.

"Yeah, like Harry Potter?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Regina said sincerely.

Emma's brow furrowed. "You've never seen or read - nevermind. The point is, we trade secrets and that way, if you tell mine to ANYONE, I can leak yours. And vice versa. It's mutual blackmail to ensure that we keep our respective mouths shut."

Regina nodded. "I like that idea."

"You first."

Regina hesitated. "Well the bottom line is that I have magic ... and I'm not exactly from here either. I mean my _memories _aren't from here like everybody else's ..." Regina trailed off. "Like in a way, I'm a new student, even though everyone here thinks they've known me their whole lives."

"Okay sweetheart that just opened up a million other questions that I'm gonna have to ask you at some point but for now it suffices as an answer."

Regina shot the blonde a glare. "Okay, you next."

"Well I just came from Boston," Emma stated. "And the reason I can't tell anyone where I came from is because..." she swallowed, "I ran away from my foster home."

"Ran away?!" Regina exclaimed. "Where do you live?"

"So far, at Granny's inn," Emma shrugged.

Regina nodded thoughtfully. "Well this has certainly been an interesting chat for both of us, hasn't it blondie?" Regina smirked at the nickname.

Emma leaned closer to Regina, causing her heart to flutter. "Oh it has," Emma whispered. "But I can think of something more interesting-"

"_Ahemm,_" Regina and Emma looked up only to see Mrs. Blue, one of their teachers. "Skipping class I see? Detention for both of you tomorrow after school."

Emma and Regina spoke simultaneously.

"Goddamit!" Emma said.

"Fucking Rachel Tice!" Regina said.

"You realize I could give you both a second detention for swearing but under the circumstances I think one is enough. Now scurry off to class."

"Scurry, my ass," Regina stood up on her heels and began walking away at a lazy pace. Emma didn't get up just yet. She was too busy watching Regina's hips sway as she walked away.

* * *

At her locker, Emma found the usual group assembled around Mary Margaret's locker, including MM, Lacey and Red. Mary Margaret was angrily ranting about something, which was odd because she was rarely ever angered by anything. Like at all.

"I just can't believe it! It's so unfair!" Snow said, exasperated.

"What's up?" Emma asked, trying to sound concerned.

"David and I got detention tomorrow for Christian side hugging!" Snow yelled.

"Apparently normal hugging is allowed, but Christian side hugging is considered religious because of the name and is therefore not to be practiced in schools." Red clarified.

"It's ridiculous! I was only avoiding the public display of inappropriateness brought on by the normal hug! You'd think they'd appreciate my class!" Snow continued to rant.

"Okay people can we focus on the real problem here?" Lacey spoke up.

"Which is...?" Emma asked.

"The fact that that fucking bitch Cora Mills stole my man and now we BOTH have detention together tomorrow," Lacey fumed.

"Ohmigod you're not still on about that are you?" Emma said, exasperated. "For god's sakes, he's the _principal_-"

"I caught them kissing," Lacey cut Emma off. She narrowed her eyes. "This. Means. War."

"So wait," Emma clarified. "You both have detention tomorrow."

"Yes."

"And Snow, you and Charming - my nickname for him, get used to it - have detention tomorrow."

"Yes."

"And Regina and I have detention tomorrow." Emma contributed. "Which means-"

"That is gonna be one fucking nuthouse of a detention." Red finished.


End file.
